No child left behind

The former governor and soon to be former President of these United States enacted a program for educating our children called "No Child Left Behind". The purpose of which was to make sure that when students reach certain grades, they are able to pass specific benchmarks of knowledge, and if they can't pass the test, then they will be held back instead of "socially" promoted. Better to repeat a grade than to graduate illiterate.

This was a wonderful idea, but like most government programs it was totally over-engineered and developed by "educators", not teachers. (Educators are different from teachers, identified by their PhD and the impatient foot tapping while waiting to get out of the classroom and into administration.) The program's end result is that teachers are only able to go over the material needed to pass the tests. There is very little in the way of creative thinking or applied knowledge. The students being produced can name the 50 states and capitals, but can't place them on a map; they can solve algebra equations, but can't figure out the MPG of their parent's car. Our own daughter wasn't sure who won the second world war...

You might be saying "That's terrible" and thinking things can't get any worse. Of course, you'd be wrong. Dallas Independent School District has done away with No Child Left Behind, in favor of "Failure is NOT an Option". What this means is that teachers are not allowed to fail a student. I'll say that again: there are no more F's. The minimum grade allowed is 60%. If the kid doesn't do a lick of homework, turns in term papers filled with doodles and stick figures, as long as the child shows up for class, he will earn a D. If he doesn't show up for class, the school just marks him as moved out of area so he doesn't count as a drop out.

A local radio show host has labeled this the "Fog a Mirror" program. It's a good thing there are so many Wal-Marts and fast food joints, because that's the best that many of these kids are going to do. Idocracy is real, and happening faster than you can imagine!

Palin v. Biden

I just finished watching the VP debate, and have concluded that Sarah Palin is a very charismatic moron. I can't take anyone seriously when they mispronounce the word "nuclear". Just like Bush, she thinks there's an extra U: nuke-you-ler. AAARRRGGHH! I know it's a very small point to some, but it's like the Grand Canyon to me- a giant gaping chasm of ignorance. To think she could be "one heartbeat away" from the oval office absolutely terrifies me...

Many years ago, I told myself that if a Democratic female candidate presented herself, I would vote for her- heck, I voted Mondale/Ferraro! Even when Hillary started making noise about running, I really wanted to like her. But then she started playing the "insider" card, saying she could make changes because she knew how Washington worked, she knew how the games were played, she knew how to make deals. That's just what I was tired of: backroom deals and power plays, no matter how well-intentioned, stink! She was like Boromir from Lord of the Rings- wanting the Ring of Power to defeat the enemy regardless of the fact that using it would mean ruin for all.

Of all the running mates McCain could have chosen, Palin was a transparent ploy to get miffed Hillary supporters on board. From what I have observed so far, that desperate tactic(or is that a strategy?) has failed utterly. Having observed Clinton supporters up close at both precinct and county caucuses, it's safe to say many of them viewed her with the reverence and awe associated with British Royalty. I am happy to report that the Hillarians I have met recently are backing Obama 100%.

Deep fried what???

State fair of Texas started this week. And in continuing the theme of the past few years, there was a competition to develop new and unique deep fried items. The fair has always been famous for being the birthplace of the "Corny Dog". Things are now completely out of control! First, they deep fried Oreo cookies, then Twinkies and Snickers. But coating sweets in batter and pitching them in the fryer wasn't good enough.

Last year's breakthrough in cardiac clogging technology was deep fried guacamole... Little balls of avocado gack rolled in crumb coating and fried. E-gads. This year, and I really don't see how they will ever top this- "drumroll please"-- Chicken Fried Bacon. Just let that sink in a moment. **For my homies, chicken fried "whatever" is a process of pounding a less than tender hunk of meat very thin, dredging in seasoned flour, then egg wash, then flour again, and finally deep frying til GBD(golden brown delicious). Usually served with mashed potatos and drenched in cream gravy, it really is comfort food, because you'll need to wear loose fitting clothes if you eat too much of it!**

Back to Chicken Fried Bacon: take a nice thick slice of bacon, dredge in flour, egg wash, and flour again, throw into the fry-o-lator. Once it is GBD, drain the grease and enjoy. I sure hope they have a Crestor dispenser nearby!

If I were to open a restaurant, it would be called "Food Fair", and we would serve food normally found at the fair. Funnel cakes, elephant ears, and whatever else can be dipped in batter and deep fried. Patrons would have to sign a release waiver before being served, holding us harmless should they develop any heart ailments or diabetic complications. I'm confident there would be a line around the block!